The List: Betsy Bird’s Top Ten Things Every Home Improver Should Know
Well, it was a slow blogging weekend with Shalom up here in Vermont for Memorial Day and work keeping me away from the computer. I did not however forget to find a humorous list for this weeks edition of “The Weekly List”.
I’ve got a few other posts to catch up on so I’ll get them out as I can, and don’t forget, if you’ve got a great list you’d like to share, let me know about it.
Betsy Bird’s Top Ten Things Every Home Improver Should Know
10) All home improvement projects involve the modification or removal of a previous home improvement project that didn’t improve anything. This is particularly true if the previous home improvement project was undertaken by the husband of the woman living in said home. Tip: Should your spouse announce plans to replace your gutters himself, immediately seek a restraining order.
9) Home improvement is actually a euphemism. The real name of what you are doing is Making One Decision After Another. I can make pie crust, curtains, and spreadsheets, but I have a lot more trouble with decisions. If you do not like to make decisions, you should learn to love the house you already have.
8 ) Here’s a handy formula for determining the cost of the additional furniture you’ll need for your improved space.For each additional 10 square foot of living space,count on spending more than you can possibly afford for the whole room.
7) Human life expectancy may increase with each passing decade, but today’s appliances live on borrowed time. The dishwasher you buy to replace your 20-year-old one will develop a terminal illness before it reaches kindergarten age.
6) HGTV is not reality television. It is a fictional dramatic series written and acted by the same people who brought you imaginary friends.
5) Porta-potties can blow over in heavy winds.
4) When it comes to electric sockets, three things matter: location, location, location.
3) You know that pest control guy you’ve been paying to come to your house each month and spray for termites? That’s all he’s been doing — spraying. You mean you wanted him to actually prevent termites? Geez … you should havesaid so. That costs extra.
2) Laura Ingalls Wilder lived in a little house on the prairie. Surely we can all live in houses without granite countertops.
And Just for fun you’ll have to get the number one tip from it’s source Emptying Our Nest. Enjoy!
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May 27th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
#6 and #7 So true.
My husband curses HGTV and the expectations it has given his customers. They think he should be able to do anything in 30 minutes. Hell..ooo. those shows are edited, and made for TV. And there is never an issue. Like the wrong part, or something rotten, or …..